Curiosity is a Crapshoot
by kirana44
Summary: Even though it's one of his defining traits, Izzy learns the hard way that there are some things it pays to be curious about...Jyoushiro Izzy/Joe, parts 3 out of 4 currently up.
1. Curious Accident

**Author's Note:** WHAT AM I DOING AT MIDNIGHT NOT SLEEPING? (actually, midnight is kinda early for me nowadays...not good. I like sleep).

I've been rewatching old episodes of Digimon Adventure and Adventure 02, just for the hell of it, as they were the series I watched as a kid (as well as Tamers. They never showed Series 4 over here, at least not that I'm aware of), and I'm delighted to find that I appreciate and like it a lot more than I did ten years ago (holy CRAP, TEN YEARS?). I've been watching more of 01, since I can't really remember as much about it as 02 (I was only 6 at the most, remember), and I realised that of all the Digidestined, Izzy and Joe were my faves, especially Joe. Frigging Joe, WHAT A LEGEND. Because willingly leaping off buildings and rooftops in order to help someone is BADASS, okay? I'd like to think that I'm like Joe, not because I'm too sensible in class and with popular people, but because I'd like to think that my friends can count on me no matter what. Can anyone of my friends verify this? Or am I deluded?

Yes, it's a Izzy/Joe fic. Why, I don't know. This random thought came into my mind, the idea that if you're as curious a teenager as Izzy is, you're going to get to a point where you're going to be curious about things that maybe you shouldn't be curious about...also, it's the idea that "Trust me" are the two sweetest and most empowering words in the english language (at least in my view), and that trust is, in my mind, one of the most essential things in life. And yet, in literature and anime, it's not as elaborated on as the powers of love or friendship, even though, without trust, neither of these things would exist. So yeah. I got the image of the events in chapter 1, but then I realised I wanted to carry on with the story, and have a second chapter planned based in 02, when they're older and supposedly wiser. So this could be read as a oneshot, but I do intend to continue it. I realise I ended up going on a tangent with this, but trust me, the short/tall thing will come up in chapter two. Please bear with me on that. I'm probably going to edit the crap out of this story, because it's quite crappy compared to my other stuff.

BTW, The title is a trope that can be found on , and, long story short, it's about how sometimes curiosity can be good, but other times it can be really, REALLY bad depending on the setting (good in sci-fi, bad in fairy tales, etc). Izzy is listed as one of three examples of it being a good thing. And I just thought it would be a cool and funny title.

Izzy, Joe and everyone else in Digimon belong to...whoever Digimon belonds to, I don't know who. Ah well, I guess I'll find out when they sue me.

* * *

Sometimes Izzy hated being so short.

He knew that he shouldn't be so hung-up about it, but it was true. He was intelligent, sure, but he sometimes felt that if he were taller, he could be taken more seriously. It's easy to ignore someone if you can't see them very well, isn't it? While the group did take him seriously, sometimes he had to speak up a bit louder to be seen. He hated that.

It would also help to be able to see who he was talking to without having to look _up_. The only person he didn't have to look up to see in the group was about three or four years _younger_ than him. Everyone else, all the same age, all less intelligent, towered over him. It annoyed him. Especially when he was talking to Joe.

He looked over to see where Joe was sitting and frowned slightly. There was no denying, he was the tallest. Even sitting down, the dark haired boy was a head taller than him, seeming so impossibly tall and skinny. Only a year separated them, so why was there so much difference between them? What was it that made Joe so tall and Izzy...not so tall? Genetics? Environment? What? He wanted to know.

Looking over his spectacled friend, he noted that, while he was taller than the others, it was an awkward kind of tall. For his height, he was incredibly thin, and he was always so clumsy on his feet, as if his brain couldn't find them anymore because of the sudden distance between them. Izzy wondered, would he grow like that in a years' time? What does that feel like? Should he ask? Or would that be a little odd?

He hadn't realised that he was staring until Joe caught his gaze and blushed with embarrassment.

"What're you staring at me for? Izzy?" he said, stumbling over his words slightly. Izzy snapped himself out of it and tried to give an excuse. It was a shame he was such a bad liar.

"Well...hahaha...you see...see here, the thing is, there's...there's something I wanted...to show you! Yes, on my laptop here! About the more dangerous digimon in this area! See? And I was just about to say something when I...got distract-no, erm, got thinking about something else! But I was still looking in your direction, so yeah..."

Joe didn't say anything, and if he caught on to the lie (which Izzy was sure he did. He knew he was bad at making things up,) then he didn't show it, for his face took on an interested look.

"Really? Can I see?" he asked, smiling for once. Izzy smiled back, knowing that Joe always liked to be prepared. He suddenly remembered that his lie actually worked out for once, seeing as that was what he was looking at before he got distracted anyway. Izzy had turned back to the laptop to bring the page back up when he suddenly realised something that made him nervous, although he didn't know why.

They were completely alone.

Izzy could hear that Tai, Sora, Kari and TK were still playing football in the next clearing over, and Mimi's voice giggled as she watched them. Matt's harmonica music flowed across the air, even further away than the game, and the snores of their partners could be heard from miles around. Sitting behind the small outcrop of trees, the bark from the log digging in to their legs, Joe and Izzy were the only ones there. And suddenly Izzy felt his chest somehow lighten and a fluttery feeling start in his stomach.

_This feeling...I wonder what it is? It's not nerves...it's like being excited, but it's not. What is it, and what's causing it? Interesting. Very...interesting_, he thought, trying to be as analytical as possible while his insides turned and twisted. Even when it came to himself, to how other people felt, Izzy had sustained his hunger for knowledge for so long, he had no clue how to stop thinking like it. If he could learn enough, he could fix it.

He clicked the start-up menu and brought the database back on screen. Bringing back the page that concerned their current area – a lush green canopy of trees, which would (according to the laptop) eventually give out into a frozen wasteland – he brought up the list of digimon that were likely to appear in the area. He divided them into two lists with a few taps of his fingers.

"Okay, this list is of all the digimon that we've seen already that we could see again," he explained, eyes turned to the screen. He felt Joe lean over a little to see over his shoulder, but given his eyesight, he'd probably have to move closer still. Why did that thought make Izzy's heart skip?

_Interesting_.

He couldn't tell, staring at his screen, what Joe's expression was. Even though it wasn't important, Izzy felt himself want to look up. Why? He half-smiled, mulling over the bizarre reactions his body gave to his friend's closeness.

"Hmm. I see. What about the other list?" Joe said, sounding almost as curious as the small red-head. Izzy smile deepened as he saw the trait he recognised so well in himself evident in his friend's tone of voice.

He clicked on the other list, knowing Joe wouldn't be interested in what they already knew. He brought it up, and then decided to himself that when he next spoke, he'd look up and talk to him. To be polite. That's what he told himself, anyway.

He felt his friend shift just as he looked up, about to speak again, but he realised too late that he timed it wrong.

"These are the-"

An accident. That's what Izzy called it when his friend, who's so tall and thin and clumsy, leant over, overestimating just how short he was. It's what he called it when Joe's hand supporting his weight slips and Izzy turned to look up at him at the same time. It's what he called it when the sudden movement caused their lips to crash together, awkward and unwilling, and when there was a brief moment when time stood still, their hearts pounding as they processed what was happening and why. It's what they called it when they suddenly broke away, minds reeling, faces pink as Joe blurted out an apology and Izzy accepted it, reiterating the point: It was an accident.

They sat in silence for a minute or two, simply thinking. Izzy was confused and not a little fascinated by the way his heart pounded, both heavy and light, the way his face felt so warm, and he wondered why this was. It was all he could think at that moment: _What is this? Why is this? I need to know...to fix it._ But then he suddenly thought: _Joe. What's he thinking right now? That's...more important. I'll fix it later._

"...Joe? Are you alright?" he asked tentatively. He looked over and found that his friend was staring at the floor, a strange expression on his face. For once, Joe's normally readable face seemed closed, clouded with a look that he couldn't decipher. The closest he could get to was...sadness? But then that wasn't it either. It was like all the life had gone from him, and now he just seemed tired.

But at the sound of Izzy's voice, he came back to life again. He looked up, and for a moment he looked stricken, hurt somehow. But then his normal face, a more familiar, worried expression, went in place, and Izzy felt a little relieved. _Those looks don't belong with Joe. He's too...Joe-like to be sad_, Izzy thought, almost smiling at the thought.

"Izzy, I'm really, **really** sorry! I just misplaced my hand, and I – I didn't mean – I'm sorry!" he stuttered, face going crimson again. Izzy couldn't help but smile. Still the same old Joe.

"Joe, relax. It was an accident, and as...embarrassing as it was, it's not that big of an issue. No harm done," he said, his voice calm and (he liked to think) soothing. But then a troubling thought came to mind.

_No harm done...right? They were still friends, right? Or maybe..._

"...Joe? Let's...let's not mention this to anyone, though," he added, suddenly unsure of himself. Something in his tone of voice must have alerted the older boy, because when Izzy looked up, Joe was looking at him strangely, his expression an odd mix between concern and compassion. The young genius couldn't face that look. It was too kind for him. But it was when he looked away and began to close down his laptop, his face burning and his mind troubled, that Joe spoke up.

"Izzy. You are my friend. Nothing will change that," he said. Izzy's eyes darted up again, and it was then he saw the serious expression that matched his words. He had never heard his dark haired friend use that tone of voice before, and it would be years until he heard him use it again. He tugged on the red-head's shoulder to force him to look him in the eye for once, to hold his gaze until the message got through. Izzy averted his eyes.

"...I know it was an accident, Joe, but...won't things be weird? You...won't like me," he mumbled, hoping he wouldn't hear, hoping he'd be ignored. A small laugh made him snap back to attention.

He'd never seen eyes like it; so understanding, and yet so strong, as if he were willing to listen to any secret, no matter how dark. They were fixed on him now, and Joe spoke again, using that rare, gentle tone that Izzy absorbed so thoroughly, and his words sunk in so easily that the prodigy could do nothing but believe him completely.

"Before I met you guys, I was the one who was never liked by anyone. You're one of my first – and to be honest, only – friends, and **nothing will change between us.** Trust me."

_Trust me._ Who would have thought that two words could be co calming, so reassuring? As the taller boy said them, a bizarre serenity washed over the red-head, and he realised that he'd be able to trust this person with anything. Nothing _had_ changed. After a moment of stunned silence, Izzy grinned.

"Thanks, Joe! I'm sorry...forget I said that, okay?" he said, his earlier doubts completely gone. The older boy saw that his words had done the job, and he grinned and let go of Izzy's shoulder. He moved slightly to look over the computer wizard's shoulder again, his smile still there.

"So, what was on that other list again?"

And so the incident passed. Neither of them told anyone else, but it didn't matter, as Joe really **was **right. If anything, Izzy just trusted him more, knowing that nothing could phase him. But ever since then, the bearer of Curiosity found that sometimes, that drive for information was a bad thing, especially as he couldn't turn it off: _What was that feeling, and why was it there? What caused it...? I need to know._

He found something that, no matter how much he learned, he could never fix it.


	2. Curious Discoveries

**Authors Note:** Why has it taken me a **week** to write this? And why the hell do I have another **2 parts planned?** Stupid brain.

Okay, it took a week to write since I decided to actually physically write it down first. It's summer, and writing outside in the late afternoon sun is pretty relaxing. So I wrote it by hand and had to dictate it onto word later, which takes forever. Sorry for the wait.

So, part 2 takes place during the 3 and a half year break. Is it me, or is Joe always taking some kind of test nearly **every time** you see him in 02? Just a thought. And the short/tall theme from part 1 now has some kind of relevance. In 02, the cool thing about the "older kids" was that they seemed to have done all their character development, and were now the embodiments of AWESOME (well, all of them except for Kari and T.K. They just got more messed up). Tai is the one full of brotherly wisdom, Mimi is the lovely older sister, Izzy always seemed to know EVERYTHING and you could depend on Joe for literally ANYTHING (hand warmers? REALLY?). While that's awesome, it's also not quite right, in that I think they still had a little bit left to go. Matt had to stop being so emo, Joe needed to be a bit more confident, and Izzy seriously needed to express himself. To the younger kids they were the epitomes of awesomeness, but to each other, they were exactly the same as before. I think their 02 character songs reflect this more than the series, anyway. So I decided to base this at that awkward point between seasons where they're still doing the whole character development thing. So yeah.

And I finally got to use Prodigious. What a delightful word that is! :D Digimon belings to Bandai, I do believe, but I might be wrong.

* * *

It was two years after that summer he would never forget, and Koshiro Izumi felt lonely. He was more social than before, more willing to talk to other people than before, and of course he still had Tai and Sora around, but he still felt it; a cloud with no silver lining heavy around his chest, making him feel outright miserable. Loneliness. The group had practically disbanded; T.K., and Mimi had moved away, Joe was in a completely different school and overall communication between the ones who were left had gone down. And, of course, Tentomon wasn't there.

Lying on his bed, Izzy sighed. He missed his partner more than he could possibly say, and selfish as it was, he felt he couldn't tell the others about it. They would understand completely how he felt, of course – but Tai would just try to cheer him up, Matt would be unknowingly cold in response, and Sora would be far too sympathetic. He didn't want any of that, but then, wouldn't it be good to get it off his chest? Wouldn't it be good to have some company for once instead of lying around, alone and lonely?

Izzy laughed bitterly to himself. _It must be the hormones talking_, he told himself wryly. He sat up and inspected himself in the mirror. He regretted not asking Joe about what being tall was like when he had the chance to, since he could have used the advice. He was now the same kind of build Joe was that summer; taller, much taller than before, skinny and gangly, with hands and feet that somehow seemed too large compared to the rest of him. He sighed again. He now knew why Joe had been so much taller than him then (although, in retrospect, it honestly shouldn't have taken him so long to figure it out): genetics and environment had nothing to do with it, he'd just been struck by the curse known as puberty. No **wonder** he was complaining most of the time. Izzy regretted not asking when he had the chance.

Suddenly his laptop began emitting a beeping sound. E-mail. Izzy grabbed the laptop off the desk, a smile lighting his face. He rarely got e-mail these days, and it was usually either Tai asking for help with school or Mimi giving everyone a general update, which, while trivial, still made his day. This time, however, his heart literally soared as he read the digital letter's contents.

_Hi, Izzy? It's me, Joe. Sorry if you weren't expecting anything from me, but Tai gave me your e-mail address. Is that okay? Anyway, I know this is incredibly short notice, but if you're not busy, do you want to meet up somewhere? I really want to see you, it's been far too long. You don't have to, I mean, you're probably really busy and not interested and this letter has probably been deleted by now and all my words are being __wasted.__ But if you __**are**__ interested, please reply asap? Joe._

Izzy grinned. The wording, the earnestness of the message, the inexplicable worrying...same old Joe. He clicked reply, and as he typed his message, he was surprised to realise just how much he missed his dark-haired friend. He had always known that he could depend on Joe for everything and anything, and he found that he missed his calming presence, his reassurance...everything. He missed the boy, and more than he wanted to admit.

He clicked send: _Name a place and a time. I'll be there. It really __**has **__been too long, hasn't it? Izzy._ And before he could change his mind, he shut down the laptop and walked out the door.

Sitting on the bench waiting for him to turn up, Izzy smiled at the thought of seeing him again. Deep down, he knew there was another reason why he missed the older boy. Thinking back to that one event during that summer, their secret mistake...he felt the blood pool in his cheeks against his will, and smiled a little more. _It's nothing, nothing special. Just...curiosity. _Joe was his friend, yes, but on occasion, he would wonder, _does Joe remember that day? Does he think about it the way I do...? And why am I like this with Joe of all people? Prodigious..._

Izzy shook his head. Moving on. _What does Joe look like now?_ he wondered, trying to visualise him. From the sounds of his e-mail, his personality hadn't changed much, but what about his face? Was he still taller, or had he caught up? Izzy hoped it was the latter. Whatever he thought, it did nothing to prepare him for when Joe actually came running in, yelling "Sorry I'm late!" at the top of his lungs.

To Izzy's incredulous disbelief, he hadn't caught up at all – Joe was still about a head taller than him. Obviously he'd had another growth spurt. But this time, he wasn't so thin to go with it. He was still thin, yes, but now he looked healthy, not so weak as before. He still had on his old glasses, but Izzy could tell that they needed replacing; the glass disks, which were scratched to pieces, were barely attached to the wretched frames. He looked, to Izzy's great surprise, sort of scruffy, as if he'd thrown on whatever he could find. The genius smiled a little when he saw his hair, which had grown along with the rest of him and was now restrained in a small ponytail, which rested at the nape of his neck. For a moment, as Izzy took in his friends appearance, he felt slightly nervous and he had no clue what to say. But before he could make an idiot of himself, Joe, who had stopped running and was now walking towards him, grinned shyly...and tripped on his shoelaces. The red-head tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help bursting into a fit of hysterics. Joe looked up at him, his face cross.

"Hey, don't laugh! That sort-of hurt!" he whined, annoyance clear in his tone. At his complaints, Izzy just laughed more. He could, however, compose himself to gasp an apology between laughing fits.

"I'm sorry...it's just...so like – like you!" he said, hysterics slowly leaving him.

Joe got up and grinned again. "Still not funny," he said, voice mock-serious. He sat down next to the computer genius, as relaxed as anything, and for a brief moment Izzy wondered, _What else has changed? _He decided that that wouldn't be the best conversation starter, so he settled for the next best thing.

"So, what's going on with your hair?" he asked before realising that he'd just planted his foot firmly into his mouth. Thankfully, Joe just laughed wryly.

"I know, it **is** a bit of a mess right now, isn't it?" he replied, the smile not leaving his face. But without warning, the smile turned from a mischievous one to a shy expression which made him look suddenly...cute.

_Since when was Joe ever cute? _Izzy found himself wondering before Joe spoke again, his voice nervous.

"...I was going to grow it longer, but Dad keeps nagging me to cut it. Should I ignore him...?" he asked hesitantly, the smile fading slightly.

Izzy frowned, in thought for a moment. _So, he's still having problems with that..._ Izzy pondered. He knew that for Joe, every little piece of rebellion was necessary for him if he ever wanted a taste of freedom. He looked the bluenette straight in the eye and gave his answer.

"Absolutely."

Joe sat for a moment, slightly stunned. But then he grinned, and Izzy could see the relief shine in his eyes.

And then, as if they saw each other every day, as if they had all the time in the world, they got talking. School, home, girls...there wasn't a subject that went unspoken about, except the ones that really mattered. But Izzy noticed that, whilst he couldn't care less what the time was, Joe kept glancing at his watch, muttering something like "I should really get going now..." before staying where he was, in no hurry to go. It eventually got on his nerves, and after the sixth time, he decided to be a little blunter than he should have been.

"Well, why don't you go then? Wouldn't your parents have wanted you back by now? If you're so worried about it, we can meet up another time..." he said, sounding more interested than annoyed. He trailed off, however, when he saw the look on Joe's face.

_There it is again. Just like then, that look..._ he thought, surprised. It was that same look he had on that day two years before, that closed, melancholy expression that made him seem so, so tired. It was a while before he replied.

"...I'd like to just say it's just because I like your company...don't get me wrong, I do! It's true! But...that's not the whole truth, you know? The thing is...well, the truth is..." he said, sounding both sad and somehow embarrassed. The flame-haired boy could only stare, his mind filled with different ideas for what "the truth" could be.

_Could he...? No, that's impossible...but why...am I hoping that it __**could **__be possible? Why?_ He reflected, his curiosity nagging him to think up an answer.

But before he could think any more, Joe closed his eyes and admitted, his voice sombre, "I'm...lonely. Lonely without Gomamon here. I can't talk to my brothers about it, obviously, and it's been so long since I've been able to talk to the rest of the group. That's why I wanted to meet with you on such short notice...pretty pathetic, huh?" He smiled again, but this time it was so sad and forlorn, he looked like he was liable to cry.

Izzy could only stare, one thought replaying itself in his mind like a broken record: _He's the same. He's the same as me and I'm not alone. I can talk to him about this._

It would take both of them another two years to figure out the importance of that day. For at that moment, knowing that he wasn't the only one to simply appear happy, to have feelings he couldn't show, Izzy suddenly felt overcome with a need to cry.

He quickly turned his head away, embarrassed that he was being so emotional for no reason, but his friend had noticed his expression.

"Izzy? What's wrong? Is it something I said?" the bluenette asked, fretting, his own problems forgotten. The prodigy just shook his head, unable to look him in the eye until he got over himself.

_You can tell him, Izzy. Get it off your chest. Remember you trust him, it'll be fine,_ he said to himself, knowing that that was the truth. But he couldn't say it. He wanted to, but he somehow felt – knew, even – that openly admitting his emotions would trigger the tears already gathering and make him cry and never stop. So he kept his eyes averted and decided to lie, hoping the bluenette would drop the subject.

"Ha, well, you see, I just got thinking...about what the Digital world must be like now! I just got...lost in thought, that's the word! Yes, that's it! Haha..." he said, faking laughter and a smile. And he still didn't meet his companion's eyes. The taller boy wasn't fooled. When Joe spoke again, Izzy was more than surprised to find that he was using a tone of voice he'd only heard once before.

"Look at me and tell me what's wrong, Koshiro," he said. Izzy started and looked over at him to see his onyx eyes, so fiercely intense that he could almost feel his defences being burned away.

_Koshiro._ None of the other Digidestined had ever called him that before. It was always "Izzy". He never knew why. Perhaps it was because the use of a nickname denotes familiarity and closeness...but this meant that his given name sounded formal and stuffy, or sweet, incredibly personal. And his tone of voice as he said it...he couldn't just ignore him.

"...I'm sorry, Joe. I just...I..." he muttered, trying to suppress the tears stinging his eyes. At this, Joe's expression softened to one of profound compassion.

"You don't **have** to say anything, you know. But just know that you **can**, and that I'm always here to listen. Okay?" he said, his smile so gentle that Izzy really couldn't hold back anymore.

And so, without another word, he closed the space between them, and he buried his face into the would-be doctor's chest, sobbing.

After a moment of stunned silence, he felt warm, dry hands wrap around him, and he was somehow able to choke out what he'd kept hidden for such a long time.

"I...I miss him, Joe! Tentomon, the Digital World, **everything**, so, so much! I just...couldn't say it! I..." he blurted out, suddenly unable to control himself.

He hated it. He hated not having the shield of cold logic there to protect him, to make everything seem better than it really was. He hated not being able to calmly reason out his feeling like he normally could. He liked being able to keep a cool head, to keep his cards close to his chest. He hated the feeling of being so vulnerable.

And then he heard a soft chuckle, and the surprisingly strong arms he was enclosed in pulled a little tighter on his petite frame.

"I know. And that's okay, Izzy," the taller boy said softly, and for a while, the fiery-haired genius honestly felt like it **was** okay, for once in his life, to just let everything out. Clinging on to his curious friend, he felt like it was okay to be emotional, as he'd always have him near. He felt it was okay to shatter the logic shield for once and discard the pieces.

Eventually, he ran out of tears.

It was only then that the cogs that had been whirring uselessly in his head and heart abruptly clicked together and turned in unison. It was only then when, his despair having left him, that he swiftly noticed how warm and contented he felt in his dark companion's arms, and how red his face was. And his heart – it was as if he'd just gone running, it was beating so fast. Logic and emotion suddenly linked in his mind, and it all suddenly fell in place:

_Prodigious, I'm actually in love with this boy. How odd._

For some reason, his sudden epiphany somehow wasn't that surprising to him then. He knew, in the back of his mind, that the shock and possible panic would come later, but at that moment, he felt happier than he could possibly imagine, because he also noticed something else.

After a while of simply resting his head on the older boy's chest, composed and with no need to remain there, Izzy was surprised to find that neither of them were moving away. And after a few moments, he blushed when he heard, or rather felt, Joe's heartbeat. It started of slow and sure, but as time drifted by, he heard the rhythmic pulsations pick up in tempo until it matched the speed of his own heart. He wondered if it meant anything.

But then Joe abruptly pulled away and pointed to his watch, the smile having never left his face.

"As much as I'd love to stay, I **really **have to go now. It's been great seeing you again, Izzy. See you soon?" he said, getting up off the cold bench. Izzy smiled in return, and hoped he wasn't blushing too much.

"Of course. I'll see you later, okay? Bye!"

And with a beam and a wave, he was gone. Walking back to his normal life, he wondered how he'd managed to miss the signs that, looking back, seemed so obvious to him. He only hoped it wasn't obvious to anyone else. He wondered what would change now that he'd had this revelation.

And he remembered Joe's heartbeat and wondered if any of it mattered.


	3. Reliable Reflections

**Author's note:** It's 2:30am. I really should stop doing this, especially since I have an early start tomorrow (Toy Story 3 FTW). But the reason this chapter took me so long was because I had a mini thing of writers block. So when I got on enough of a roll to nearly finish it, I just had to keep going with it.

But HOLY SHIT. 5 1/2 PAGES OF A4. WHAT. I fear this chapter is far too long and I may edit it later so it would be smaller and more easily digestible, but at the moment, I'm fine with it the way it is. I'm always proud of what I do, and I'm very, very proud of this.

Since the previous two chapters and the final chapter of this story are all in Izzy's point of view, I decided to have a chapter dedicated to good old reliable Joe. Reason being, if we have everything be from Izzy's point of view, then any kind of heart-felt confession in the last chapter would seem like it came from nowhere, and it'd feel like a cop-out. Get what I mean? And because it's a Joe chapter, I had a different theme for the title. Instead of "curious", it's "reliable". I thought it made sense. And it's only now that I realise that Izzy isn't actually in this chapter at all. Prodigious!

All the internet talk is in italics, and I tried very hard to distinguish it from the "thoughts", as I write those in italics too. Just read it as dialogue, okay? I'll stick it in speech marks, just so you know.

This chapter has a lot of hints of Mimoue in it, since it's a couple I quite like, but I had to sort of sink the ship here, if you get me. The whole relationship between them here, or at least how **I've** portrayed it, is sort-of based on my own experiences. I'm not going to go into it right now, but I'm over what happened, and I've moved on, very much like Mimi does here. Except I didn't "move on" as quickly as she did. Oh well.

Joe, Mimi and everything else related to Digimon belongs to Bandai.

* * *

Sitting at home, in the warm safety of his bedroom, Joe was trying to type up a piece of homework (the cardiovascular system was more complex than he thought it would be), but for some reason, he couldn't focus. He tried desperately (the piece was due in the next week and he wanted to get it out the way), but he couldn't get his mind to focus on the diagrams on the screen before him. He told himself that it was because he was tired, that he'd had a long day and that it was late, but he knew that was a lie. Deep down, he knew that it was because of his petite, flame-haired friend that he couldn't focus of what was troubling him the most – the heart.

He glared at the diagram he was supposed to label, a frown on his face. He had no idea why the boy affected him the way he did. They were friends, yes, good friends, but why did he make him want to be...more, somehow? Seeing that expression on the boy's face, the look that he had when he wanted to say something but couldn't bring himself to do it...it broke his heart seeing him like that, and Joe **knew** he'd have stayed by his side for hours if it would have made him feel better. He just had to. But then, he'd have done that for any of his friends, right? And when he finally burst into tears, and had pulled him into that tight embrace...he thought his heart would explode. But that doesn't mean anything, right?

_...Right? I mean, sure, there __**is**__ something kinda...cute about him, but...I've always liked..._

Joe's computer suddenly beeped and a small window popped up.

_"Hi, Joe-Sempai! How are you? :D" _he read, and he smiled as he saw the e-mail address. Mimi. Instant Messenger was an absolute godsend for her and the rest of the gang. He typed his reply carefully, still not very good with the keys.

_"I'm alright. Busy, but then, when aren't I? How are you? America still being good to you?"_

He only had to wait a moment before getting his reply.

_"Oh, life's all good here! Oh yeah, guess what!"_ she said, obviously excited. He could picture her face, all smiling and happy, and he couldn't help but smile too.

_"What is it?"_ he replied, expecting her to say something small, something trivial which makes her happy regardless. Her response nearly made him fall off his chair.

_"I think I might have a boyfriend! He's called Michael, he's a friend of mine and he's really, really cute! 3"._ He read the words again, twice, three times, just to check that he was right, that he hadn't made a mistake.

_"A boyfriend? WHAT?" _

Over in America, Mimi giggled. Trust Joe to have a freak-out over it. She decided to elaborate, typing fully with no "text talk". She used to type that way all the time, but he used to complain about not being able to read her messages, so she stopped doing it. She could have continued just to annoy him, but she never liked picking on Joe. He was just too sweet.

_"Well, he's not my boyfriend __**yet,**__ but I think he really likes me, and I think we'd be a great match. Should I go for it?" _she asked, genuinely wondering what his response would be. She had to wait a while.

Joe stared at his desk, thinking. What should he say? He couldn't say that she **couldn't**...because what reason could he give? "You can't ask him out, because I'm still in love with you"? No, there's no way he could say that...especially since he didn't know whether it was true anymore. He decided to not be brave this time.

_"If it's what you want to do, go for it!"_ he typed, before he paused, and added, "_Why are you asking me?"_

Now it was Mimi's turn to stare at her desk. What was she hoping for Joe to have said? Had she been honestly expecting him to confess his undying love for her or something? She knew, years ago, that he liked her. Several days travelling around, gathering allies in the Digital World should have told her that. She smiled sadly as she remembered how he was then; short hair and thick glasses adorning his eyes, which always held a serious gaze...so awkward and earnest all the time...and his blush and almost outraged expression as he got called out on his feelings for her. She giggled as she remembered his words, the sentence that made her realise truly how he felt:

"She's not charming! And even if she was – I'm not having this conversation!"

At that moment, he'd been so awkwardly in denial, blushing so much he was almost purple...yes, he had definitely liked her then. But now? No clue. She could have cried, it was so unfair; why did she only notice how much she loved him when he was an entire ocean away from her? Why does she not just admit it to him now? She could change her life with just one little comment. But as she began to type it out, she deleted it and realised that she lacked the courage. Overseas romances were difficult, and it'd put both of them under stress they didn't need. Besides, he'd probably grown up, gotten over his childish little crush and found someone much more suitable for him. So she kept it all inside, and typed out her reply.

_"I'm asking because you're my friend and I trust your opinion. What about you? Got your eye on anyone at the moment? ~3"_

Reading it, he gulped. How was he meant to respond to this? He was tempted to just say her, but then the sudden image of blazing red flashed before his eyes, and he knew that wasn't the right answer. He wanted to say Mimi. He **wanted** to be able to say Mimi, but now he had the image of his computer-loving friend in his head, he couldn't focus on anything else.

He had no idea why he held such fascination with Izzy. Was it because of how cute he was? Was it because he was so slight, so petite, even compared to the girls? Or was it, maybe, since he'd stolen his first kiss by accident?

Joe blushed. While it was an incident they had never talked about, and while it was something that neither of them had told anyone else, it was a memory that he knew he could never forget. He knew he shouldn't obsess over it the way he did, but he couldn't stop himself from remembering how soft his lips were...

He shook his head, trying to get rid of the memory. But then he remembered back to that afternoon. Of all the traits that the red-head possessed, the one that got Joe the most was how he had so much feeling, so much depth hidden in his heart that he was too afraid to reveal. He had his defensive mechanisms, and he used them to full affect. He could tell this just by the look in his eyes sometimes, the ebony glint in them that pulled on his heartstrings. And he wanted to be there for him. He wanted to know everything that hurt him, so he could shoulder the problem for him. Sure, he would do that for any of his friends, but...

_But...Izzy is __**different**__. I have no clue why, but he is_, he concluded.

Actually, he **did **have a clue why. It was his spark, his energy and inquisitiveness. He had appeared so quiet when they first met, but when Izzy got talking, he **really **got involved with what he was saying. And everything he said, in Joe's view at least, was incredibly, horrifically fascinating. And yet no matter how much he knew, he still wanted to know more. That's what Joe liked about him (or at least **one** of the things Joe liked); his constant desire for the unknown, for things he hadn't experienced before. And every time he got interested in something, Joe's heart would always pick up in speed when he saw the look in his eyes; the light would always seem to dance in them, like sparks of life, turning his already intense eyes into burning gems, like hematite stones. He was closed off and shy, but then so intense and passionate about everything he did...

And it wasn't just that. It was the small things: the way he babbled whenever he tried to lie (which wasn't that often), the way he got so easily flustered, his bitingly sarcastic sense of humour, his ability to make such brilliant connections in his mind...yes, he had more than a clue why. But he hated admitting this to himself. Why any of these qualities made his heart beat faster and his stomach go all fluttery, he had no idea, and it sort of scared him. He couldn't get the image of him from out of his mind, and he always worked himself into a panic trying to concentrate on something else. He liked him, as more than a friend, and he was afraid of the change.

His computer beeped again, and he snapped himself out of his thoughts sharply. Adjusting his glasses, he almost laughed.

_"Helloooo? Joe, you there? Or do I have to bring an ambulance to resuscitate you?" _she said, lightening his mood. He was about to reply when he realised, with a jolt, that he wasn't nervous around her. Looking over at the picture of her lit up on the screen, he found that her face didn't give him butterflies anymore. He paused.

_Wait...when did that happen? Since when did I stop thinking of her like that? Since just now, or before...? _he mused, slightly hesitated, before replying to her in all seriousness.

_"Sorry about that. It's just that what you asked...it's complicated."_

Mimi read this and sighed a little. Of course, he **had** gotten over her. She supposed that was to be expected. And she was even a little embarrassed at herself. Embarrassed that she still kept this little hope that he liked her, embarrassed that she felt all floaty when she read his messages, and, most of all, embarrassed that she still kept the heart shaped door sign that he made for her, for "nostalgia" purposes. It was hanging on her door right then, to remind her of what could have been. She shook the thoughts out of her head. "Complicated"? He sounded worried. And Mimi hated her friends being worried in any way, shape or form. Screw whether she loved him or not, he was her friend first and foremost.

_"What is it about it that's complicated? Does she have a boyfriend already?"_ she typed quickly. She had to wait a few moments before she got the response, and she could tell he was hesitant about telling her **anything**.

_"No, not that kind of complicated. It's more to do with who it is. Don't worry about it, seriously."_

She frowned. She knew that Joe was the type of person to bottle things up, and she knew she had to press a little harder if she wanted to help him. Sometimes the reliable listener needs a reliable listener.

_"Come on, it can't be that bad. Who is it? Is it someone I know?"_ There was a long pause. She got typing again.

_"Come on, Joe. You can tell me anything. Literally anything, and I won't care because you'll still be you in my mind. You're my best friend, you know you can trust me. So please, tell me what's bothering you about it."_

Joe read her messages and felt both anxious beyond reason and tearful with gratitude. He knew he could trust her, and he knew she'd give her honest help...but if she disapproved, she'd sure as hell let him know about it too. She didn't have the Crest of Sincerity (read as bluntness) for nothing. But then the realised; she really was, above all else, his friend. Now that he didn't blush or cringe when he thought about her, he realised her good qualities as a friend who would always be kind and supportive, no matter what. He could tell her. It still didn't stop him from feeling nervous and he typed up what she wanted to know.

_"Okay, I'll tell you. It's complicated in that yes, it is someone you know...but no, it isn't a she. It's a guy, and I'm sort of confused as to whether I really like him or not. That's why. Don't hate me, please?"_

He pressed enter and hoped for the best.

Mimi sat and reread the sentence a few times, just so she could really understand what it meant, what it implied. Strangely, she wasn't shocked or offended. She didn't feel particularly sad, either, which came as a surprise. She assumed that would come later, but for now, she just felt such a deep compassion and love for her friend, she couldn't care less about how depressed she could become over this news. And she certainly didn't hate him, not in the slightest.

_"So, is he cute? :3"_

Joe grinned. _Trust her to think up these things_, he thought, feeling more relieved than he had in a long while.

_"I guess he is, yes. Very."_

She giggled again. She could barely imagine the older boy describing **anyone **as "cute", even if it was the love of his life. But as she laughed, in her mind, something abruptly clicked.

They now had totally different lives now, they knew so many different people...the only friends they really had in common were the other digidestined. So for it to be someone she knew, it had to be one of the other boys. And as she wracked her brains to figure out which one, she suddenly picked out details in her memories, things that she hadn't noticed at the time (and Joe, doubtless, hadn't noticed either) – glances and stares stolen when they thought no one was looking, subconscious things that no one noticed at all until you looked at them in fine detail...

_"It's Izzy, isn't it?" _she sent, somehow knowing that she was right. She had to wait several moments before receiving his obviously bemused – and sad – comment.

_"...Am I really that obvious?"_ she smiled in spite of herself.

_"Not really. I'm just good at guessing. So why are you not sure if you like him or not?"_

_"Well, he's a guy. I'm used to liking girls, so this if odd for me. And besides, I have no idea if this is the real thing, true love, or if it's just a hormone addled crush,"_ he sent, the implications of his dilemma catching up with him. If it really **was **true love, then that would make him gay, or at least bisexual. Either way, his father would kill him. But then his computer beeped again, and as he read her short, abrupt message, his blood felt cold.

_"Do you feel for him what you used to feel for me?"_ she said, finally bringing up the subject that they'd both been avoiding. He stared at the words as they stood boldly on the screen, plain for him to read. She knew. How did she know? Was he really _that_ obvious? But getting over her bluntness, he thought the question over. When Izzy was around, he felt like he could do anything, that he'd shoulder any burden for him, endure any hardship. And whenever he smiled, whenever his eyes glittered with excitement...that was all the reward he needed. His very presence made his heart go a mile a minute and his insides felt like they were dancing. He felt nervous, excited, joyous and sad...he felt hurt, but he also felt healed. He felt...alive. There was no other way to describe it.

_"Yes, Mimi. Yes, I do. But then, he likes girls, and there's no way he'd like me. I'll just have to get over it."_

He sighed, and he knew that he was right. He knew that Izzy liked girls, ever since they caught him writing a love letter to an anonymous girl (who everyone just **knew** had to be Mimi. Who **didn't **like Mimi?). There was no chance. Her response was quick and truthful and exactly what he needed to read.

_"I thought you stopped thinking like that years ago? Take a chance! If it __**is**__ true love, if it really is worth all this confusion and self-doubt and hurt, then wouldn't it be a waste to not do anything? He might like you too, you never know until you ask! Or until he asks you...please go for it. Maybe not right now, if you're still worrying about it, but someday soon, okay?"_

Leaning back into her comfy chair, Mimi looked up at the ceiling, a small smile ghosting across her face. There. She's cut all romantic ties with him, in one neat little comment. He probably realised the hidden meanings in it...that maybe, if he'd asked her out properly instead of keeping it all inside, then maybe he could be calling her his girlfriend by now. But what's done is done, and she knew she had to move on. And somehow, she was fine with it.

Joe smiled. She was right. He always used to think that way when he was younger. But wasn't he better than that now? Wasn't he a stronger person, a more reliable person? He knew he couldn't tell him about it now...but he didn't want to mess up their friendship, either. One day, he'd tell him.

_"I think I will. Thank you so much for listening, Mimi. I'm not sure you know how much I appreciate this. Thanks."_ He sent, knowing she'd get what he meant. Over in America, she smiled and knew that she could move on. Most definitely.

_"You're welcome! Love you too! ~ 3 Going back to my original point, I __**am**__ going to go for it. Next time you see me, I'll be single no longer! :D" _she exclaimed, so happy that he was happy for once. She glanced over at the clock and realised how late it was over in Japan.

_"And __**you**__, young man, are going to go to sleep! It's late, and you need your beauty sleep! Besides, I'm tired. Night night! Love you! 3" _she said, and she could honestly think that for once, those words were simply meant to be platonic. Joe smiled and posted a reply before logging off and going to bed.

_"Who said I needed it? You need your beauty sleep more than I do. Goodnight, I love you too." _

And turning off the bedroom light, plunging the space into darkness, he thought about everything they'd said. And he realised that, despite everything he could have had, despite the feelings of the past, he had to let it all go. He realised that his second love would be worth taking a chance with.


End file.
